Misunderstood?
Being misunderstood happens easily to most people because the truth is that we do not say or do everything perfectly.
I remember decades ago, in a church I was part of, there was an older widow and an older widowed man whom I dearly loved and respected, and they likewise loved and respected me. Over time they discovered each other and became interested in each other. The day arrived when he asked her to be his wife and presented her with a ring. The following Sunday morning, she tracked me down to show me the ring and tell me the good news. Man, it was a large diamond ring, and I was genuinely excited for her, for both of them. So I said to her, “You must rate way above all others.” I thought I was paying her a high compliment, but when I said it, her countenance fell, and she turned and walked away in a huff. She began ignoring me, and I couldn’t get her to talk to me. I had no clue what I had done to cause such a reaction.
Sometime later, when talking with someone about the strange incident and seeking to know how to fix it, I was informed that what I had said was the worse thing I could have said because of how she must have taken it. I did not realize that the man had been widowed two times before. She had taken my comment to mean I was comparing her to his former wives. I was trying to compliment her with the idea of her rating high above any other woman on earth to him. We were eventually able to correct the misunderstanding, but it happened nonetheless. It turned out she was made more sensitive about things due to some well-meaning but misguided people advising her to avoid getting involved with the man in any serious manner. Those bad and unwelcome experiences with others left her vulnerable and tender, and my comment was taken wrongly.
There’s no way to know what has just happened or has been happening to someone we might encounter and speak with. The potential for being misunderstood is an ever-present reality. If you over-obsess about such a thing, fearful of blowing it with someone, you will most likely avoid them or allow fear of being misunderstood to rule you and silence you altogether. Either way, a decline in the relationship will occur.
Often many offenses are the result of a misunderstanding. Usually, but not always, they can be remedied with effort. That is why it is best to be a person who is not easily offended.
Making decisions from a place of offense can have unpleasant long-term effects on a person’s life. Jesus warned about being easily offended. While teaching in a synagogue in Capernaum, Jesus said something many did not understand. In fact, many of His followers at the time did not understand it.
John 6:53 Then Jesus said to them, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in you. 54 Whoever eats My flesh and drinks My blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. 55 For My flesh is food indeed, and My blood is drink indeed. 56 He who eats My flesh and drinks My blood abides in Me, and I in him. 57 As the living Father sent Me, and I live because of the Father, so he who feeds on Me will live because of Me. 58 This is the bread which came down from heaven—not as your fathers ate the manna, and are dead. He who eats this bread will live forever.”
John 6:60 Therefore many of His disciples, when they heard this, said, “This is a hard saying; who can understand it?” 61 When Jesus knew in Himself that His disciples complained about this, He said to them, “Does this offend you?
John 6:66 From that time many of His disciples went back and walked with Him no more. 67 Then Jesus said to the twelve, “Do you also want to go away?” 68 But Simon Peter answered Him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. 69 Also we have come to believe and know that You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”
If Jesus could be misunderstood, I promise we can be as well. We can just as easily misunderstand the intentions of others. I encourage you not to allow being misunderstood or someone being offended by you to drive you to make a poor decision. Ask the Holy Spirit for His wisdom and do whatever He tells you to do. Do your best to seek peace whenever possible and be ready to accept moving on if it is not possible.
