At eleven years of age I lost my dad to suicide. It rocked my world in a major way that took me some time to recover from. I dealt with intense fear of loss for a long time after that. It was so bad it often interfered with my mom being able to go out of the house. I would panic that if she left she might get killed and I was terrified of losing her too. It was a prison, a torment. It took a while to overcome it to a level of being able function more normally but it wasn’t till I cam to know Jesus that it was truly broken in my life.

Loos is painful no doubt. I had my share of it too in 2020 like many others. I presided over too many services of loved ones of friends and my own family. But through it all one thing stayed consistent. By the grace of God and the friendship of the Holy Spirit I was keenly aware of the constant presence of god and the love He was showering upon me and the family during those difficult times. It was in such abundance I was able to offer continual encouragement to those around while handling tough situations of my own.

When the Scripture says that in my weakness Jesus is made strong it is not speaking tongue in cheek.

I felt so strengthened by Him in the midst of my loss it seemed scandalous. His love is that way. It comes through the fog of our hardships and pain sometimes in the most scandalous of ways keeping us strengthened with His joy so that others looking on wonder how we are able to have such. But this is the beauty of relationship with Him that is real, raw and sometimes ugly on our part. He takes our ashes and gives us His beauty. Oh how He loves us! His love is not conditional and my friend today He loves you just as much as he has any other day and always will. Be encouraged today no matter what you may be facing and know that you are greatly loved.